Author Archives: Lane Corley
Are you a Church Curmudgeon?
A curmudgeon is basically a grumpy old man. But the spirit of a curmudgeon can come out of any of us whatever our age or
gender. The attitude is not very helpful in church and is actually spoken against in scripture (Philippians 2:14). The Church Curmudgeon is actually on Twitter and if you’re there you should follow him for a good laugh and for a good look at how generations are colliding in 21st century church life. Here’s a few of my favorite Tweets by the Curmudgeon. I promise you I’ve heard a few of these as a Pastor and now around the Director of Missions office.
- Counted many blessings, named them one by one. Listing all my grievances is much more fun.
- Pastor says his sermons are relevant, but they never help me find where I put my glasses.
- The worship leader looks depressed. Maybe I ought to write him a note to tell him how to do his job better.
- Thou shalt not repeat that chorus one more time, for we get it already.
#10Curmudgements - Thou shalt not steal, and that includeth my spot on my pew.
#10Curmudgements - In the war on obesity, I’m fighting for the side that has the gravy.
- I rarely feel so fulfilled as when I get to call the cops on the neighbor kids. What a night!
- Church work day. I just come to see if the pastor knows which end of the hammer to hold.
- I shudder to think about what I would have become if I had grown up with padded pews.
- Ushers seated a new family in my spot; had to sit 36″ closer to drummer. Great is the hour of my trial.
- Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. But better still is Cracker Barrel, period.
- Every couple of weeks, I wish Truett Cathy had been an Adventist.
- Don’t know what a “felt need” is, but I’m pretty sure if you tried to minister to it, I’d knock you down.
- Pastor wants us all in “small groups”. Been in one since ’54. It’s called “Me, Elmer, and Jake”. Don’t mess with it.
- Put me in as a greeter. I’ll keep your service to a manageable size.
- Pastor has his library on his iPad. That way, we can’t tell if he’s doing sermon prep or Angry Birds.
- Understand: If you call me “dude”, I will raise cane. And lower cane on your bumptious head. It’s “sir.”
- The bulletin’s got more junk in it than Tuesday at the mailbox.
- The Children’s Ministry budget is outrageous! How much do flannel-graphs cost these days?
- I don’t mind standing on the promises, but I can’t stand for a half hour while we sing about ’em.
- Youth pastor asked me if I even had a right side of the bed to wake up on. Punk.
- Every once in a while I raise my hand to rededicate. Helps the pastor’s totals and it don’t cost nothing.
- I was a greeter today. Got to stay in the foyer during the sermon to glare at the latecomers.
- Pastor, if you must be on the HD screen, trim the nose hairs. Thanks.
- People were holier when the pews weren’t padded.
- The worship leader was on fire yesterday. Hair gel and candles don’t mix.
- Yes pastor, do teach us about stewardship while you sip on your $5 coffee. We’re all ears.
- The anonymous prayer request cards are very helpful for making veiled criticisms of the worship service. Thanks, pastor.
- Worship leader: If you’re trying to please us, “Shine, Jesus, Shine” does not count as an old hymn.
- God takes care of the Presbyterians, Jesus takes care of the Baptists, the Holy Spirit gets the Pentecostals, is how it was explained to me.
- Pastor, thanks for keeping your sermons short. Any longer than 30 minutes, and it’s hard for me to wake up.
- The way I see it, things started to go south when they put in the heated baptistry.
- Our worship leader spends so much on hair gel that he has to wear old jeans with holes in them. Sad.
- Listened to a sermon on life’s hardships from a man who has to pay a gym to make him break a sweat. Mercy.
- Hey Pastor, I like your missional tattoo. I got mine on a mission to kill Nazis.
- Installed a shot clock in the back of the sanctuary. Pastor has to maintain our interest every 45 seconds.
- There’s a reason that the Lord doesn’t want Baptists to dance. Have you seen a Baptist dance? Right.
- Personally, I’m a cessationist. That is, I believe that church signs should cease.
Incarnational Living: “Am I just attending church, or am I BEING the church?”
Great question from a friend of ours at Bridge Church, reflecting upon her families journey into incarnational living in
suburban St. Tammany Parish. Evan and Angie McGinty have partnered with two other couples (Jeremy and Elizabeth Butler and Josh and Jenna Norris) to throw a monthly block party in their neighborhood designed to be an intentional effort to get to know people, build community, and have fun.
Check out the entire story here at Angie & Evan’s blog.
And ask yourself, how am I BEING the church in my neighborhood, workplace, community, etc.?
Here’s Angie’s challenge:
Are we taking on the flesh of Christ daily, even when it is inconvenient with our time schedule. Are we missing opportunities that could be used to show other’s love? Jesus didn’t always wait for people to come to him, He went to them… He loved on and hung out with the people that no one else would.
The real challenge comes when you are just “on the way” of life. Will I make it a point to go out of my way for others in the little opportunities that come along, or will I let them pass me by? I continue to be challenged in this, but on those occasions when I do rise up to meet that challenge…wow….what a difference it makes!
Here are a few tangible and easy ways to show others love:
- Bring baked goods to a neighbor for no reason or to police and fire departments to say thank you.
- visit an old folks home (most of those people don’t get visitors)
- pay for someone else’s: coffee, meal, etc and do it anonymously (like the car behind you or the table across the room)
- cook a meal for someone who could use a break or help
- use your talents: our church has built lots of wheelchair ramps for elderly people who can’t afford it.
- babysit for someone free of charge and offer to do it
- leave an AMAZING over the top tip for your server
- write a kind note to someone
Those are just a few ideas…there are soooo many opportunities to give of ourselves EVERY day, it’s just a matter of DOING IT!
Thanks to Evan and Angie for showing us the way into incarnational living!
What are other ideas and ways to BE the Church in our communities?
Probing Questions for a Church in Decline
Reading through the recent State of the Church series by the Barna group which tracked 20 years of trends in faith and religion looking for national patterns. Everyone bemoans the church in decline in America and these #’s add weight to the evidence. Our local #’s did as well. Never know quite what to do with #’s like these, but as a strategist and a curious explorer type, I like to ask why and how. Barna explores that through published books, but just looking at the numbers we can make some observations and ask some probing questions. Here’s some trends:
- Bible reading is down 5%. Is it because of new media and our society becoming less literate? Or has our emphasis on professional clergy and seminary education and the way those of us who have it talk about the Bible, taught people that they can’t understand the Bible apart from professionals?
- Volunteerism at church is down 8%. Is it because of more hired staff at churches and less opportunity for people to engage in religious service? Is there more emphasis on attending than participating today than before? Does the opportunities for involvement capture the hearts of post-modern people? Is there opportunities for every gifting, personality, skill set?
- Sunday School attendance is down 8%. Is it because less churches are using a Sunday School model? Has lecture format in Sunday school run its course? Is it because people are just too busy for a 2 hour commitment to Sunday School and church?
- Worship Attendance is down 9%. Are our worship services at optimal times for attendance? Has the emphasis on attendance as involvement (pay, pray, get out of the way) created a mindset in people that could not sustain them against other offerings in culture? Have we lost the battle to compete for market-share using consumer driven “come and see” approaches in the midst of worship wars?
- % of people who claim no affiliation went up 13% to now 37%. Is the church so irrelevant today that the halo effect doesn’t even drive people to at least verbally affiliate?
- People claiming to be born again is up 5%. Is this due to the rising popularity of political figures courting the evangelical movement? Is the word born-again becoming less of a problem for people? Or is our message really getting clearer to the masses and people are truly getting born-again?
- People believing that God is all-knowing, all-powerful and perfect Creator of the universe who still rules the world today is down 7% to 67% of the public. Are people seeing an all-powerful God at work through our churches?
- People believing that the Bible is totally accurate in all of the principles it teaches is down 8% to 38% of the public. Have people read the Bible and found it not accurate? or have they seen the lives of those of us claiming to live by its teachings and decided that it must be inaccurate at some points?
- Even among those claiming to be born-again Christians:
- Sunday School attendance dropped 14%.
- Volunteering at church dropped 12%.
- Worship attendance dropped 7%.
- Bible reading dropped 9%.
- Claiming no affiliation increased 5% to 19%.
Barna points out that the “only behavior that did not experience any real change was the % of adults who attend a church of 600 or more people.” And for born again christians attending a large church increased by 8%. Is this simply because there are more big churches today than ever before? Are bigger churches effective at disciple making? Or are bigger churches more appealing to consumer mindset? Are there any co-relations to be made about declines in discipleship behavior and practice and bigger churches?
AND, are we so absorbed with what’s going on “in here” (i.e. in MY church) that we don’t have time to think about those “out there” represented by these numbers? And these % represent people that need to know the God who is all-powerful who sent his Son that they may know eternal life as described in the book that they not sure is accurate.
What other questions should we be asking? Or do you have any answers to mine? Comment below or by email. :))>
4 C’s of Spiritual Leadership
Short list to see how we’re doing as Christian leaders and to see if one is ready for Christian leaders. 4 C’s taken from Mike Breen‘s Missional Community Field Guideon who can lead a Missional Community. Questions are from our Bridge Church team briefing today as we “spurred one another on to love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Take the test:
- Character: Am I following through with my promises? Am I being as honest as I can about my abilities? Am I living out of a commitment to Christ? Am I overcoming sin & insecurities through Christ? I am accountability to ________ & ________ & ________. How can we hone our character?
- Competency: Am I able to consistently stay on ministry objectives? What is a win for me? What am I learning through the outcomes of my endeavors? Am I living out of a clear sense of mission & vision? I’m motivated by ____________. How can we become more competent in our roles?
- Chemistry: Am I working out of my greatest strengths? Am I working with the place & people that I’m best suited to influence? Am I able to serve the Lord with gladness and maintain joy in my work? Am I working out my unique calling & gifting? I feel I am at my best when ___________. I feel our team is strongest when ___________. How can we strengthen our chemistry?
- Capacity: Am I a leader worth following? Can I say to those around me, “follow me as I follow Christ?” What is the measure of my influence? I’m currently investing in _________ & _________ & _________. How can we improve our capacity for fruit bearing & growth? Is there room in my life for generosity in relationships? Am I able and willing to give and give up for the sake of others?
Vision vs. Christian Sentiment
It is easier to serve God without a vision, easier to work for God without a call, because then you are not bothered by what God requires; common sense is your guide, veneered over with Christian sentiment. You will be more prosperous and successful, more leisure-hearted, if you never realize the call of God. But if once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God wants will always come like a goad; you will no longer be able to work for Him on the common-sense basis.
~ Oswald Chambers
“Opportunity is missed by most people b/c it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” ~Thomas Edison
- Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. ~Stephen King
- Few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be. ~Charles Brower
- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison
- If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate. ~Thomas Watson
- I don’t fear the man who practiced 10,000 kicks one time. I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. ~Bruce Lee
- Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. ~Thomas Edison
- One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested ~E.M. Forster
- There are 3 stages to every great work of God: First it’s impossible, Then it’s difficult, Then it’s done. ~J. Hudson Taylor
- The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing. ~Seth Godin
- You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do. ~Henry Ford
- Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Abraham Lincoln
- Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision. ~Peter Drucker
- Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. ~Robert Collier
- I never worry about action; only inaction. ~Winston Churchill
- The opposite of a leader isn’t a follower. The opposite of a leader is a pessimist. ~Marcus Buckingham
- Thinking big without thinking long is a recipe for disappointment. ~Mark Batterson
“All disciples of Jesus are called to be sent people”
Highlights/Reflections from our Basic Training Event for #ChurchPlanters: This weekend we held our first Basic
Training for Church Planters on the Northshore. A diverse group of Church Planting teams from across Louisiana came together for the event, including a Biker Church, Asian American churches, Attractional and Missional approaches. This is about my 5th time through Basic Training and I’d say a developing trend that I’m excited to see may be Bi-Vocational church planting teams. Also, NAMB’s new Basic Training Journey has made some helpful adjustments. Get it online here. Also, here is a Google Doc with some resources mentioned and discussed during the workshop. Here are a few highlights for me:
- Church Planting is all about relationships.
- There is only one kingdom and it belongs to God. And God’s kingdom is extended to the ends of the earth through His church.
- All disciples of Jesus are called to be sent people.
- You can’t plant a church in your head, you have to plant it in the community.
- We don’t plant churches just for the community, we plant them for the whole world.
- Every congregation is a world missions strategy center.
- Contextualization is answering the communities questions about God and the gospel in their terms. NOT on their terms.
- Discipleship = Applying the inner meaning of the Gospel to persons at the point of their need.
- Multiplication principles: You reap what you sow. You reap later than you sow. You reap more than you sow.
- Don’t just start services, start making disciples.
- Discipling is a process of learning to obey Jesus.
- Two questions from Simple Church: What is a disciple? What is our process to make and mature disciples?
- Disciples are shaped by serving, not just sitting and singing.
- Don’t use people to get ministry done. Use ministry to get people done.
- Small Groups = Accountability = Growth.
- Small Groups are the seedbed to develop new leaders.
- In church history, a significant amount of missionary activity and advance was carried out by unrecognized teams of church planters. i.e – the Moravians
- The Moravians saw witnessing as the common concern from all members of the faith community and sent small groups of ordinary believers to plant churches and testify for Christ in new areas.
- “Ultimately, each church will be evaluated by only one thing – its disciples. Your church is only as good as her disciples. It does not matter how good your praise, preaching, programs, or property are; if your disciples are passive, needy, consumeristic, and not radically obedient…” Neil Cole
Bridge Church This Weekend, etc.
Happy Black & Gold Day! Incredible weather, Saints game tonight, so much good stuff going on. Looking forward to this weekends Bridge Church Gatherings as well. A few things to remember:
- Worship Gatherings Sunday: 9am @ the St Tam Jail/Work Release, 10:30am @ the West St Tam YMCA, 6pm – Bridge Tangi @ Northshore Christian Fellowship in Hammond (Map). 6pm-Bible Study @ Oak Villa Mobile Home Park #71.
- Continuing our series called One Story: Creation, Corruption, Redemption, Restoration. This weekend we’ll answer the questions: What’s wrong with people? Why is everything so hard? etc. Get last weeks message on Creation here. See the One Story Trailer here.
- Small Group Leader luncheon, Sunday, 12:15pm @ the Corley’s, 2058 White Myrtle Dr., Madisonville. If you’re teaching a Bible Study or would like to in the future, email Jeremy Butler and let him know you’ll be coming. We’ll talk ideas and questions about groups over lunch.
- Celebrate Recovery @ the StTam Jail, 3:30pm & 7pm. Please continue to pray for our teaching team at the jail. Jump in as a teacher, encourager, or tutor if you’d like.
- New Bridge Ladies studies starting this week: 9am @ Heather Corley’s – contact Heather, 807.3151 & 7pm, Wed the 21st @ the YMCA – contact Jane Gerken for info – 966.1010.
- 9.17 – Bridge Guys night, 5:30pm. It’s at my house this time.
- 9.18 – Chiapas Info Meeting, 5:30pm. Sergio & Beth Matassa will be in town.
- 9.30 – Columbia St. Block Party, 6-8pm.
- 10.9 – Faith in Action Sunday. See some video clips from our last FIA Sunday here. And a nice article mentioning Bridge Church in this AM’s Times-Pic.
Let me know of other things going on. Go Saints & GO Northwestern St. DEMONS!
In Christ-On Mission-For Others,
Lane Corley
985.373.2748
Lane Corley 