Category Archives: Reflecting
Parenting is hard. Much harder than you’ll ever imagine. Nobody can tell you how hard it is until you’ve experienced it. And each new generation has its challenges. One of my generations parenting challenges is definitely technology. We are learning more and more about the land minds that smart phones, social media, and gaming devices deposit before our kids every day. Parents must be vigilant to remain on top of this ever changing world. Some of the unexpected lessons we’ve learned over the last few years as parents and as a pastor:
- You can protect kids from internet searches and some harmful websites with filters, but filters have little affect on Social Media sites.
- Snap Chat is bad. Really bad. No child should have access to Snap Chat. Block it!!!
- From a local school principal: “Everything bad at this school – drugs, bullying, and sexting – can be traced back to Snap Chat or Instagram.”
- Instagram has grown more like Snap Chat, allowing anonymous sharing of pics. Monitor it or block it!
- Watch who your kids are following on Instagram. These people are discipling your children and shaping their worldview.
- Gaming devices are not just about playing games anymore. The unfiltered internet, Youtube, and many games offer views of the darkest parts of the fallen world to kids.
- Youtube is a great disciple making tool and mostly for bad. Figure out how to block access to it on gaming devices and smart phones.
- Kids and most adults are not capable of handling the emotional toll that constant connectivity offers us through smart phones and social media.
- Kids get up at night and reconnect with technology after their parents have gone to bed. They struggle to turn it off and stay disconnected. Turn off the internet! Place devices in a secure place. Model and teach the importance of rest from technology.
- Drug dealers are using Snap Chat and Instagram to entice your kids. Yes! Local drug dealers are on Snap Chat and Instagram advertising their services to your kids.
- Sexting is a huge problem for teens and many adults!!! Model and teach the importance of accountability with text messaging.
- Most parents are clueless of how their kids are being affected by technology.
I could probably go on, but we are learning more and more of the potential harmful effects of technology and how to shepherd our kids through these mind fields. I know, I know. There is good that can come from technology too. But parents, lets beware and be aware! And set limits and boundaries on technology use for your kids and for yourself.
Here are some good sources of info for parents that have been helpful to us along our journey of discovery:
- Book: The Tech Wise Family by Andy Crouch. This book helped us devise our own Technology guidelines for our home. Great resource.
- Blog: CovenantEyes.com/blog. Covenant Eyes is a great filtering and accountability tool. The blog offers regular articles that are informative for parents and leaders in setting limits and boundaries. The stories also share reminders of the potential danger of the internet and hope for redemption after inevitable mistakes occur.
- The Axis Culture Translator. This is a weekly email that deposits some good tidbits of info for parents trying to keep up with language and trends impacting our homes.
What are other good resources for families regarding technology? What are lessons you’ve learned so far?
Parenting is at the same time, the greatest joy and the most difficult task one can undertake. Now, I’m a veteran, and getting opportunities to share my failings and hard lessons learned more often with parents younger than me. Here’s what I find myself saying over and over:
- Parenting is hard. Much harder than you’ll ever imagine. Nobody can tell you how hard it is until you’ve experienced it.
- Parents must work to set the spiritual temperature and pace in the home.
- Limit technology. Limit technology. Limit technology. So much danger lurking on the other side of a click, finger swipe, and game controller.
- Say no to Snap Chat. Just do it. There’s just nothing good about it. Just say no!
- Recognize the competing voices in their hearts and heads and deal with them decisively.
- Get them around mentors and positive people early and often.
- Recognize God’s providence is greater than imperfect parental guidance.
What would you add to this list?
C.S. Lewis said it best: “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”
This February, I’ve for the first time tackled preaching through the Song of Solomon. Sounded like a great idea last summer when I was planning sermon series for 2018, but as I got to digging in I began to think, “what have I gotten myself in to!?” Ha! As I studied, I began to see a beautiful love story outlined in the relationship between the bride and groom depicted in the Song. Here it is:
- God is the author of LOVE, ROMANCE, SEX, AND MARRIAGE. Genesis 2:18-25.
- Love is FOSTERED through God-given desire, attraction, and curiosity. Song of Solomon 1:2, 7-10; Proverbs 30:19.
- Love is FULFILLED in the marital relationship between man and woman. Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:7-11; 4:9-11; 5:1; Proverbs 5:19
- Love can be FRUSTRATING as two people bring their differences together and experience life’s difficulties. Song of Solomon 5:2-3; Proverbs 17:1; 21:9; 25:24
- The beauty of Love is found in FAITHFULNESS. Song of Solomon 7:1-2; 8:6-7; Proverbs 5:18; Ecclesiastes 9:9
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
And I’m glad to be living this story out with my bride of 18 years now (valentine of 21 years). Thinking about our story, here’s my Valentine’s Day letter to my valentine:
God created you just for me. Light shined from heaven and music started playing in my head the first time I saw you. You were different from anyone I had ever met. As I got to know you, the curiosity and desire to know more about you never dulled. Separation from you scared me because it made me feel incomplete. Our wedding day still seems like the best dream I’ve ever had. My every wish and idea about love has been fulfilled in this relationship. There has never been one day that I have regretted taking you as my wife. My heart still leaps when you walk into the room and my mind remains ever curious about your heart and your thoughts on everything. We’ve faced our share of frustrations with this life, with no doubt more trials and difficulties to come. I look forward to growing old with you and experiencing the beauty of faithfulness. Thank you for being my valentine and my wife. Thank you for putting up with the frustrations caused by me. Thank you for the promise of life long love. Thank you for making faithfulness easy and longed for. Happy 21st Valentine’s day!
What’s your Love Story? Can you see your story in the Song of Solomon? Take time to write it out. Identify gaps and close them.
Pastor Charles Starnes went home to be with the Lord on December 29th, 2017. He served as Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Slidell for 32 years. During that time the church baptized 485 new believers and added 733 other members to their roles. They also gave over $1.5 million to the Cooperative Program and other missions causes. I remember Bro. Charles as a great encourager of church planters, which included me, after moving to St. Tammany Parish in 2001 to plant a church about 35 minutes from Calvary. Under Bro. Charles’ leadership Calvary was part of planting six new churches, including the first Hispanic SBC Church on the Northshore of Lake Pontchartrain. I’ll never forget what he said at the constitution service of one of those church plants, Thompson Road Baptist Church in West Slidell. He said,
“Everyone always makes a big deal about Calvary planting churches. Thanks for the kind words, but I just thought that planting churches and missions is what every church was supposed to be doing.”
On another occasion he said it like this:
“Everybody makes a big deal about Calvary being part of planting churches. I always say, I didn’t know it was optional.”
Grateful for Bro. Charles and his vision for multiplication and encouragement for church planting everywhere. May his tribe increase.
Some of my favorite pics from my personal Instagram feed for 2017. See them all HERE.
- The Impact of Churches Under 100
- On Failed Church Plants: How Many Are There? And Why?
- Louisiana’s Healthy AND Growing Churches, Part 2
- BASIC MUD-OUT GUIDE FOR HOMEOWNERS
- Breaking the 50 Barrier in Church Planting
- The Final Week of Jesus – Chart / Reading Plan
- What is a DISCIPLE?
- Louisiana’s Healthy AND Growing Churches, Part 1
- Church Revitalization Tools
- Church Growth = Growing Friends + Growing Family
Looking forward to another great year of learning and growing. Lets stay connected. Follow the blog. Let me know your thoughts when you can.
He was born 8 days after the very first service of our first church plant in South Louisiana, which started in an un-air conditioned fire station.
- Because his dad’s a church planter, until he was four we would drive past a fire station and he would yell “church” and when we drove by a steepled church building he would yell “space ship.”
- Because his dad’s a church planter, the first time we attended a church besides ours on Sunday, he asked where their fire truck was and why their chairs were so long (pews).
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he likes to hang out in coffee shops and has great bedside manner in hospitals.
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he doesn’t have as much as many kids in our area, but never complains.
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he doesn’t know that you shouldn’t wear shorts to church or that you shouldn’t be close friends with people of another race or class.
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he knows who Rick Warren & John Piper are, & asked every Friday morning, “Do we have a Block Party this weekend?”
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he doesn’t know what it means to be a part of a mega youth group or ride on a bus to camp.
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he knows his way around Pro Presenter and online kids curriculum.
- Because his dad’s a church planter, he’s handled a lot of pressure to be the good kid, pray out loud, help with the nursery, etc., etc.
Proud of Jack. Grateful for his friendship and partnership in this ministry. It’s not always easy to be a church planters kid. Praying for Jack and all our church planting kids out there.
I am a Christ follower today because of God’s grace and because in hopes that I and others would receive God’s grace other Christians…
>> prepared and taught kids sunday school lessons
>> prepared worship services and sermons
>> got to church early to turn the lights on, make the coffee, get things ready for me and others
>> in relationship ask about my spiritual life
>> opened their home for Bible Studies
>> picked me up when I didn’t have a ride
>> organized youth camps and took a week off to go with me to youth camp
>> gave money sacrificially to their church
>> made Christ like decisions that challenged me and showed me what it means to be a Christian in the daily
>> prepared mission trips and on mission experiences
>> took me to breakfast and lunch and talked to me about what it means to be a Christian man
>> called me when I went through difficult times in my life
>> took a chance and ask me to serve on a church team
>> took a chance and ask me to teach a lesson
>> didn’t laugh when I flopped and failed
>> encouraged me not to quit
>> hugged me and patted me on the back regularly
>> prayed for me when I got discouraged
>> and so much more
Lord, please don’t let it end with me. I don’t want to be a cul-de-sac on the highway of God’s grace. Church, let’s keep it going!
Last year our small church actually grew by 30% between Memorial Day & the first day of school. Here’s what we did that helped us beat the summer slump. And it does not even include VBS!
1. Celebrate Summer
There are at least four great opportunities already on the calendar to build in celebration over the summer: Memorial Day Weekend, Father’s Day, Fourth of July Weekend, & Back to School. Plan on doing something special & unique for each of these weekends. These four Sunday’s were the highest attended weeks of the summer for our church. Sure, some people went out of town, but we made each a special opportunity for people to invite unchurched family & friends & we reached out to each prospect with a special invite. The guests made up for the vacationers. Make the most of the holiday weekends!
2. Break the Routine
When summer comes around, everyone is thinking, “I need a break,” including your church’s teachers & volunteers. Structuring the calendar in such a way that gives some relief to hard working volunteers will help them stay enthused about their teams work all summer. It also builds in the expectation that volunteers will be out of town in such a way that momentum is not lost & relationships are not strained. Our kids ministry combined classes for special days several times & our holiday celebrations were planned in such a way that kids volunteers & setup crews had those weeks practically off.
3. Get Outside
For Memorial Day & Fourth of July, we held our Worship Gatherings at some of our communities favorite outdoor venues. Every community has a park, picnic area, lake area, etc. where people like to gather & hang out. Incorporate cooking out, fishing, games, water slides, etc. & you’ve got a crowd. Share the gospel clearly & gather info from visitors. And depending on the location, you may can even maximize the hearing of the Gospel with people that show up not knowing that a church would be meeting there that day. Everybody loves being outside in Louisiana & in our case, outdoor worship gatherings have been a great tool for connecting new people to our church.
4. Connect New People
Of course, sustainable growth depends upon the systems you have to connect people to Christ, to one another, & to a mission greater than themselves. Plan for new people by continuing or starting a new comers class & by having special opportunities for connections with small groups throughout the summer. Also, keep in mind, if new families are relocating to your area, it will likely be during the summer. Make your gatherings accessible to new people in the community & plan on helping them feel welcomed & help them make meaningful connections. Our Connections Team prepares New Resident Welcome Baskets for people to give to new people moving into their neighborhoods throughout the summer.
Summer is a great time to grow things. Churches included. Celebrate. Have fun. Get outside. Get ready for new people. Expect God to bring an increase.