Reproduction necessitates reproduce-ability, and reproducibility requires an ecclesiology simple enough for any disciple to reproduce.
@AlanHirsch in On the Verge. Loving this book!
Category Archives: Quotes
“Apathy is passionless living. It is sitting in front of the television night after night and living your life from one moment of entertainment to the next. It is the inability to be shocked into action by the steady-state lostness and suffering of the world. It is the emptiness that comes from thinking of godliness as the avoidance of doing bad things instead of the aggressive pursuit of doing good things.”
John Piper, in his latest book Bloodlines
“If we really wanted to be seeker-sensitive, we’d forget the coffee and put in a bacon bar” ~Checking in on the Church Curmudgeon
A curmudgeon is basically a grumpy old man. But the spirit of a curmudgeon can come out of any of us whatever our age or gender.
The attitude is not very helpful in church and is actually spoken against in scripture (Philippians 2:14). The Church Curmudgeon is actually on Twitter and if you’re there you should follow him for a good laugh and for a good look at how generations are colliding in 21st century church life. Here’s a few of my favorite recent Tweets by the Curmudgeon. Have you heard or said any of these? See my first check-in here.
- Here’s a shout out to the worship leader: Turn down the stupid guitar and learn a HYMN!
- I note that the pastor planned his stewardship series -after- pastor’s appreciation month.
- I say we turn the clock back again this week. And every week ’til we hit, say, 1952.
- If we really wanted to be seeker-sensitive, we’d forget the coffee and put in a bacon bar.
- Liquor is an abomination. Homemade cold remedies, however, are Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.
- The coffee today was like the deacon’s board. Weak and bitter.
- So glad we’re not worldly in our church. In the world, the comedian comes out before the band.
- Seniors’ Online Safety Seminar today – Keeping Your Finances Secure. Hosted by Mbewe Ahore of Nigerian Central Bank.
- As I recall, the French were “seeker-friendly” in 1940.
- Your prayer labyrinth looks exactly like my circuit through the Costco food samples.
- When a great innovator dies, it leaves a hole in the cosmos that never quite heals. Still miss you, Col. Sanders.
- If I had known there was going to be an internet, I wouldn’t have bought all those encyclopedias back in ’52.
- I accidentally loaded my Monday pills in the Sunday box. No wonder the sermon didn’t make sense.
- Putting the bulletin announcement in 8-pt font -a sneaky way to keep the seniors out of the business meeting. We shall repay.
- I keep forgetting which kind of progress I’m supposed to impede on Wednesdays.
He takes a hilarious shot at new church names:
- There’s a new church in town called The Movement. Must mean something different to them than it does to me.
- “1st time visitors get a free cup of coffee. And a newspaper.” #TheMovementChurch
- “And a scented candle.” #TheMovementChurch
- “Please turn to hymn number two.” #TheMovementChurc
- “You may be seated.” #TheMovementChurch
- Would I attend #TheMovementChurch? Depends.
On the Origins of Trick or Treating:
…some claim that marking All Hallows’ Eve may have originated as just such an occasion to “trick” Satan, the most prideful of all creatures, by giving him what is most offensive to his arrogance: mockery. As Luther would say, “The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him for he cannot bear scorn.”
David Mathis, from the article Trick or Treat? It’s Martin Luther
I’ve read this before. That dressing up scary-like was an attempt to make fun of the devil and his demons. I’m guessing American capitalist added the candy bit. See below:
Changing the Scorecard for the Church
“The typical church scorecard (how many, how often, how much) doesn’t mesh with a missional view of what the church should be monitoring in light of its mission in the world. The current scorecard rewards church activity and can be filled in w/o reference to the church’s impact beyond itself”
from the introduction to Reggie McNeal’s Missional Renaissance: Changing the Scorecard for the Church. This book outlines the
shifts that must take place to make the church in America a missional movement again. The book is also full of ideas of how to engage in making these shifts. He admits to not having the silver bullet, but Missional Renaissance provides great insight for next generation ministries. I read this book when it first came out and its been bugging me ever since. The ideas are provocative and thrilling and now more and more leaders are coming to the conclusion that our measurements must change. Much is being written about this right now. Others that I’ve read and been helped by are Transformational Church by Ed Stetzer and Thom Rainer, On the Verge by Dave Ferguson and Alan Hirsch, and Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker. This is a great conversation for us to have, so grab McNeal’s book and be provoked. Here’s the three shifts he suggests with a few of my fav quotes:
Shift #1: From an Internal to an External Ministry Focus. The missional church engages the community beyond its walls because it believes that is why the church exists.
- Moving to an external focus pushes the church from doing missions as some second-mile project into being on mission as a way of life.
- Internal focus is to define effectiveness by church activity and whatever it takes to be a “full-service” church.
- Externally focused means seeing ourselves as a CONNECTOR not the DESTINATION. Like an airport is a place of connection, not a destination. It’s job is to help people get somewhere else. When church sees itself as the destination the scorecard gets confused.
Shift #2: From Program Development to People Development. Moving away from the assumption that people are better off if they just participate in certain activities and processes that the church or organization has sanctioned.
- We’re learning that there is no necessary correlation between time logged sitting in pews or chairs at church and attaining Christlikeness in mindset and mission or purpose.
- a new scorecard celebrates investments in people, not just programs, and cheers breakthroughs in people’s lives, not just organizational achievement.
- McNeal’s question: “Are people better off for being a part of this church, or are they just tireder and poorer?
Shift #3: From Church-based to Kingdom-based Leadership. …thinking of kingdom impact more than church growth.
- Church based leadership is institutional, maintenance-oriented, positional, church-focused, and highly controlling.
- Kingdom leadership is organic, disruptive, prophetic, kingdom-focused, empowering.
- Kingdom leadership focuses on people development not program management and event production.
- Good questions for church leaders: Does your call revolve around a mission or a job? Have we minimized the call of God down to a guaranteed employment contract and a regular paycheck?
A few of my favorite quotes:
- The true vitality of a congregation rests in the abundant lives of its participants and in the blessed lives in the community it serves.
- To think and live missionally means seeing all of life as a way to be engaged with the mission of God in the world.
- We must change our ideas of what it means to develop a disciple, shifting the emphasis from studying Jesus and all things spiritual in an environment protected from the world to following Jesus into the world to join him in his redemptive mission.
- Missional followers of Jesus don’t belong to a church. They are the church. The missional church is not a what, but a who.
- Our job is not to “do church” well but to be the people of God in an unmistakable way in the world. Our “thereness” is what the world needs.
Lots of great ideas in the book. Like this example of measures that reflect a missional paradigm for life and ministry:
- Number of growing relationships with people who are not Jesus followers or church people.
- Number of personal relationships with community leaders.
- Number of venues for interpersonal service in the community each month.
- Number of hours in personal service in the community each month.
- Number of life-coaching relationships.
- Number of external, missional experiences and stories used in speaking and writing.
Also see this great list I posted from the book earlier of success measures for the church.
“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it…but I’m afraid he might ask me the same question.”
– Anonymous
Read in Barefoot Church: Serving the Least in a Consumer Culture by Brandon Hatmaker. Loving this book!
Are you a Church Curmudgeon?
A curmudgeon is basically a grumpy old man. But the spirit of a curmudgeon can come out of any of us whatever our age or
gender. The attitude is not very helpful in church and is actually spoken against in scripture (Philippians 2:14). The Church Curmudgeon is actually on Twitter and if you’re there you should follow him for a good laugh and for a good look at how generations are colliding in 21st century church life. Here’s a few of my favorite Tweets by the Curmudgeon. I promise you I’ve heard a few of these as a Pastor and now around the Director of Missions office.
- Counted many blessings, named them one by one. Listing all my grievances is much more fun.
- Pastor says his sermons are relevant, but they never help me find where I put my glasses.
- The worship leader looks depressed. Maybe I ought to write him a note to tell him how to do his job better.
- Thou shalt not repeat that chorus one more time, for we get it already.
#10Curmudgements - Thou shalt not steal, and that includeth my spot on my pew.
#10Curmudgements - In the war on obesity, I’m fighting for the side that has the gravy.
- I rarely feel so fulfilled as when I get to call the cops on the neighbor kids. What a night!
- Church work day. I just come to see if the pastor knows which end of the hammer to hold.
- I shudder to think about what I would have become if I had grown up with padded pews.
- Ushers seated a new family in my spot; had to sit 36″ closer to drummer. Great is the hour of my trial.
- Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. But better still is Cracker Barrel, period.
- Every couple of weeks, I wish Truett Cathy had been an Adventist.
- Don’t know what a “felt need” is, but I’m pretty sure if you tried to minister to it, I’d knock you down.
- Pastor wants us all in “small groups”. Been in one since ’54. It’s called “Me, Elmer, and Jake”. Don’t mess with it.
- Put me in as a greeter. I’ll keep your service to a manageable size.
- Pastor has his library on his iPad. That way, we can’t tell if he’s doing sermon prep or Angry Birds.
- Understand: If you call me “dude”, I will raise cane. And lower cane on your bumptious head. It’s “sir.”
- The bulletin’s got more junk in it than Tuesday at the mailbox.
- The Children’s Ministry budget is outrageous! How much do flannel-graphs cost these days?
- I don’t mind standing on the promises, but I can’t stand for a half hour while we sing about ’em.
- Youth pastor asked me if I even had a right side of the bed to wake up on. Punk.
- Every once in a while I raise my hand to rededicate. Helps the pastor’s totals and it don’t cost nothing.
- I was a greeter today. Got to stay in the foyer during the sermon to glare at the latecomers.
- Pastor, if you must be on the HD screen, trim the nose hairs. Thanks.
- People were holier when the pews weren’t padded.
- The worship leader was on fire yesterday. Hair gel and candles don’t mix.
- Yes pastor, do teach us about stewardship while you sip on your $5 coffee. We’re all ears.
- The anonymous prayer request cards are very helpful for making veiled criticisms of the worship service. Thanks, pastor.
- Worship leader: If you’re trying to please us, “Shine, Jesus, Shine” does not count as an old hymn.
- God takes care of the Presbyterians, Jesus takes care of the Baptists, the Holy Spirit gets the Pentecostals, is how it was explained to me.
- Pastor, thanks for keeping your sermons short. Any longer than 30 minutes, and it’s hard for me to wake up.
- The way I see it, things started to go south when they put in the heated baptistry.
- Our worship leader spends so much on hair gel that he has to wear old jeans with holes in them. Sad.
- Listened to a sermon on life’s hardships from a man who has to pay a gym to make him break a sweat. Mercy.
- Hey Pastor, I like your missional tattoo. I got mine on a mission to kill Nazis.
- Installed a shot clock in the back of the sanctuary. Pastor has to maintain our interest every 45 seconds.
- There’s a reason that the Lord doesn’t want Baptists to dance. Have you seen a Baptist dance? Right.
- Personally, I’m a cessationist. That is, I believe that church signs should cease.
What’s the Curmudgeon in you like to complain about at church?
“Opportunity is missed by most people b/c it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” ~Thomas Edison
Thanks to Ben Arment for a great list of quotes on success/opportunity/hard work/etc. Check out the entire list here. Here are a few of my favs:
- Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. ~Stephen King
- Few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be. ~Charles Brower
- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison
- If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate. ~Thomas Watson
- I don’t fear the man who practiced 10,000 kicks one time. I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. ~Bruce Lee
- Life’s real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. ~Thomas Edison
- One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested ~E.M. Forster
- There are 3 stages to every great work of God: First it’s impossible, Then it’s difficult, Then it’s done. ~J. Hudson Taylor
- The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing. ~Seth Godin
- You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do. ~Henry Ford
- Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Abraham Lincoln
- Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision. ~Peter Drucker
- Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. ~Robert Collier
- I never worry about action; only inaction. ~Winston Churchill
- The opposite of a leader isn’t a follower. The opposite of a leader is a pessimist. ~Marcus Buckingham
- Thinking big without thinking long is a recipe for disappointment. ~Mark Batterson
“If you want to build a ship, don’t summon people to buy wood, prepare tools, distribute jobs, and organize the work – rather, teach people the yearning for the wide boundless ocean”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Lane Corley 