Category Archives: Discipleship

Distinguishing Marks of a Quarrelsome Person

Hot-headed, divisive Christians are not pleasing to God (Proverbs 6:19). We are told to drive them out (22:10) and avoid such people (Rom. 16:17). This doesn’t mean we only huddle with the people we like. We are not talking about awkward folks or those who disagree with us. We are talking about quarrelsome Christians–habitually disagreeable, divisive, hot-headed church people.

Kevin DeYoung

This is an important issue for churches today. Seems we have a lot of churches unable to break out because of relational difficulty. Maybe partly because our generation doesn’t do well with anything that’s hard and requires commitment, like relationships that delve below the surface. And that’s what God desires. It’s easier to just go somewhere else. But discerning when someone is being divisive and quarrelsome is something we must do and determining whether I am the quarrelsome person who is hurting the cause of Christ. I thought this list by Kevin DeYoung was helpful. Read the whole post here.

So what does a quarrelsome person look like? What are his (or her) distinguishing marks?

  • You defend every conviction with the same degree of intensity. You don’t talk about secondary issues, because there are no secondary issues.
  • You are quick to speak and slow to listen. You rarely ask questions and when you do it is to accuse or to continue prosecuting your case. You are not looking to learn, you are looking to defend, dominate, and destroy.
  • You are incapable of seeing nuances and you do not believe in qualifying statements.
  • You never give the benefit of the doubt. You do not try to read arguments in context. You put the worst possible construct on other’s motives and the meaning of their words.
  • You have no unarticulated opinions.
  • You are unable to sympathize with your opponents.
  • Your first instinct is to criticize. Your last is to encourage.
  • You have a small grid and everything fits in it. Everything is a social justice issue; everything relates to the regulative principle, everything is Obama’s fault; everything is wrong because of patriarchy; everything comes down to one thing–my thing.
  • You derive a sense of satisfaction and spiritual safety in being rejected and marginalized. You are constitutionally unable to be demonstrably fruitful in ministry and you will never affirm those who appear to be. You only know how to relate to God as a remnant.
  • You are always in the trenches with hand grenades strapped to your chest, never in the mess hall with ice cream and ping pong.
  • You have never changed your mind on an important matter.

Doing the opposite of this list will help us go deeper with God and others in the body of Christ and reproduce less people who don’t go to church anymore, because of how Christians treat each other.

The Sin of Dabbling

Can your spiritual life be defined by a lot of starts and stops? Do you find it hard to follow through past the new sermon series at church, new years resolution, or recommitment after a season of pressure? In the book, You See Bones, I See An Army, Floyd McLung defines Dabbling as having a casual or superficial interest in something, to paddle, play, or splash in the water. Never diving in with all our hearts, we get stuck in a state of paralysis and failure. Jesus calls us to a radical life of wholehearted obedience and focused faith, not a shallow, wading around in unbelief and doubt that God could actually be more real and fulfilling than the stuff that I actually follow. The solution: Dive in deep. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” Luke 9:23.

And have we as church leaders encouraged the sin of dabbling by making discipleship easy and programmable instead of risky and faith-driven? Do we enjoy creating dependence upon our teaching and ideas instead of releasing people to experience the deep water for themselves? How can we lead people beyond superficial splashing in the wading pool to deep diving, abundant life in Christ? Do I as a leader DABBLE from commentary to commentary or is my preaching and teaching out of an overflow of what God is doing deep inside of me?

Consumer Christianity

Attitudes that show we are relating to our church as consumers:

  1. Consistently dwelling on the thought, “Is this church the right fit for me?”
  2. Having an attitude that says, “If the leadership would just do ______________ better, then I would be happier.”
  3. Comparing the offerings of your church to another church.
  4. Seeing things that need to be improved in your church but taking no responsibility to do anything about them yourself.

A church operates more like a family than a store. If we miss this, then we will always have dissatisfaction towards those who are trying to love and help us.

Read the whole article here.

Put Your Faith in Action. Why?

Every fifth Sunday Bridge Church, scatters instead of gathers, for what we call Faith in Action Sunday. This Sunday, Jan 30th will be our first FIA for 2011. Looking forward to worshipping through serving senior adults, elderly widows, single mothers, inmate families, families in ICU, public servants, multi-housing residents, families at local parks, and more this Sunday AM. When telling people in todays generation about our Faith In Action Sunday’s, one question we seldom get is “WHY?” It just makes sense to most people that the church ought to be out serving. But just for fun, here’s a few reasons:

  1. Because following Jesus includes putting our faith in action (Luke 6:46-49)
  2. Because Christianity is about more than just attending worship services
  3. Because Jesus said “Go…” (Matthew 28:19-20)
  4. Because if we love God, we will love people “in actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18, 4:7-8)
  5. Because if we love God, we do what He says. (John 14:21, 23; 1 John 2:3-6)
  6. Because success is community transformation, not just a big organization.
  7. Because proclaiming and demonstrating God’s love go hand-in-hand. (Luke 9:2)
  8. Because there are needs in our community that are going unmet.
  9. Because God cares for the whole person. (James 2:15-18)
  10. Because God desires individuals to live in healthy communities and just societies. (Jeremiah 29:7)
  11. Because everyone can serve.
  12. Because people follow examples better than they follow instructions.
  13. Because God has a special heart for those who are poor and vulnerable. (Jeremiah 22:16)
  14. Because God’s people are to be an instrument of blessing to the world. (Genesis 12:2)
  15. Because disciples are shaped through serving, not just sitting.
  16. Because the church’s ministry should be incarnational. (John 1:14; 20:21)
  17. Because God empowers us to participate in ministry. (Ephesians 2:10)
  18. Because God created us for good works. (Ephesians 2:10)
  19. Because it’s joining God in what He’s doing in the world.
  20. Because it’s fun.

While even a Faith In Action Sunday can become a meaningless ritual or a isolated event, our desire is that giving away will become a part of the flow of peoples lives as it’s part of the flow of Bridge Church.

The Christian Sponge

Each week us church goers, like sponges, sit and soak up great teaching and preaching from professional and highly trained clergy, high quality Bible Study materials and devotionals, praise and worship music that moves us to experience God, and many, like me, listen to more great teaching and preaching through podcasting and conferences. Here’s the question: What’s next for the SPONGE after it’s has soaked? It SOURS and becomes unusable. Almost nothings more disgusting than a sour sponge. No one wants to pick it up, it stinks up the entire kitchen, and most of the time at our house we just throw them out.

As a Christian, I’ve had seasons of my life that can be described as SOUR. The sour Christian is sour toward others – nothing meets their standard, no sermon is good enough, they and their class or group or church are the only ones doing it right. No one wants to be around the sour Christian and he/she doesn’t really care to be around them. Being right matters more than being generous and graceful. (For a Biblical illustration of a Sour Christian see the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32 and watch for the Elder Brother).

What’s the remedy for keeping sponges from getting sour in the sink and in the church? A GOOD SQUEEZE. A good wringing out. With the sponge, by hand. But how is the Christian squeezed? Two ways:

1) Through Suffering – When I’ve lost a loved one, or experienced discouragement, or dealt with sickness, or faced financial struggles, or walked with others who’ve experienced these and worse, I have been squeezed. I have had to put to use all that I know about God and His word. That’s why God’s word tells us that there is great benefit to suffering. See James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-5.

2) Through Serving – Don’t wait to be squeezed through suffering. Give yourself away and be emptied out through serving others. As we give ourselves away as Christians, we are allowing God to squeeze us and use what He’s placed in us for His good and glory. As we serve others, we experience more of God and the joy of being used by Him and He continually fills us.

In an effort to be intentional about the necessity of Christians to be serving, our church has made a part of our flow an opportunity for everyone to serve. Every time there is a fifth Sunday in a month we have Faith In Action Sunday. Instead of having church, we scatter throughout our community to BE the church in some of our communities neediest areas. This Sunday, January 30th, will be our first Faith In Action Sunday of 2011. Contact me if you’d like more info or need an avenue for God to squeeze you through giving yourself away.

Worth Reading: A few Links

Q’s for Getting In Rhythm in 2011

Connecting to Life IN Christ, ON Mission, FOR Others is our mission statement and desired life rhythm at Bridge Church. In today’s message we talked about how to live it out. Here are a few application questions:

My life IN CHRIST, Receiving Grace-  Ephesians 2:8-9

  • Have I Received God’s Grace? John 1:12
  • Am I Growing in Grace? 2 Peter 3:18

My life ON MISSION, Giving Grace – Ephesians 2:10

  • What are the needs around me?
  • What are the resources God has given me?
  • What are the opportunities w/my faith family?
  • Who are the people that need me?
  • What doors are open to me at work, at home, with friends?

My life FOR OTHERS, Living Gracefully – Philippians 2:3-4

  • How can I put others ahead of myself?
  • Who around me needs the grace of my encouragement, time, money, labor, prayer, __________?
  • What is keeping me from living gracefully for others? An attitude? A way of life?

In Christ, On Mission, For Others. Receiving Grace, Giving Grace, Living Gracefully.

Lord, let it be so in my life this year.

Hear the entire Sermon here. Or find us on Itunes.

Bible Reading Plans for 2011

“Any Christian worth his salt ought to read the Bible from cover-to-cover every year” J.I. Packer

Here are few great links to Bible Reading Plans that you can start tomorrow.

YouVersion.com – This is one of my favorite sites for daily Bible Reading and study. Dozens of plans to choose from with options of having the daily reading sent to your mobile phone, email, or RSS feed. Also, the easiest place to share scripture across all social media sites.

ESV Bible Reading Plans – I’ve been reading the ESV for four years now. I like the translation and the accessibility. They’ve got 10 plans available here with options to read online, get it in your mail box, RSS feed, mobile phone, print the plan, or for us Mac users download it directly into ICal. I’ll be using the Everyday in the Word plan this year.

Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plans – They have three time tested plans available here that can be downloaded and printed. You can also purchase hard copies here to give away to others. I love the DJ Plan, b/c it’s a five day plan, giving you two days to catch up when life happens. While you’re close by, check out the Navigators great illustration How to Get a Grip on the Bible.

If you want to go to another level and add scripture memory to your goals for 2010, check out these two great tools:

What will I attempt this year that I could not do w/o God’s help?

“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord of hosts. Who are you, O great mountain? Before _____ you shall become a plain.” Zechariah 4:6-7

Prayerlessness and lack of kingdom growth in my life is a consequence of an easy, safe, walk-by-sight, “God wants me to be happy”, “my church is there to meet my needs”, “I don’t have time for servanthood but I have time for TV” kind of life. What would I, could I, should I accomplish in 2011 if I really believe God is who he says he is and that His power is available to me? What mountain needs to be flattened this year? And how does God want to use little ole me to do it?

Good questions to ask. Putting together my list today.

7 Questions for Facebook Users

Everything in life is either a tool or an idol. As we move toward a new year, I’m assessing several areas of my life that I see can easily become idols in our time and culture. One of course being Social Media. I found these seven questions by Steven Cornell helpful in assessing my time on social media. Read the entire post here.

  1. Do you check your Facebook status in the morning before checking in with God?
  2. Are you disappointed when people don’t respond to your posts?
  3. Do you waste too much time on Facebook?
  4. Do you use Facebook to avoid real life contact?
  5. Do you have intimate conversations with the opposite sex under the guise of counseling?
  6. Do you use Facebook to complain about life or people?
  7. Are you always truthful and loving in the things you post?

Also, Seven Scriptures to apply:

  1. “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).
  2. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).
  3. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (I corinthians 10:31).
  4. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).
  5. “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe” (Philippians 2:14-15).
  6. “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut” (Proverbs 10:19, NLT). “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)
  7. “Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning” (Proverbs 9:8-9).