How to Plant a Church Without Losing Your Marriage
Great list for anyone in ministry or not, by Brian & Amy Bloye in their new book It’s Personal: Surviving and Thriving on the Journey of Church Planting.
- Do what is important, not what is urgent. “If you try to make everyone happy, the ones who lose out will be the ones your know will forgive you: your spouse and your children.”
- Bring fun and adventure into your relationship. “when wives of pastors get involved in extra-marital affairs, it tends to be because the other man was someone who was fun to be with.”
- Take time off every week. “Sometimes it appears that you can’t afford a day off; the truth is, it’s the other way around. You can’t afford not to take a day off.”
- Keep intimacy a priority.
- Focus on being a team.
- Find your significance & security in Christ. “We were created, as human beings, to find our meaning not in what we do but in what God has done for us.”
- Make time for meaningful communication. “Get the conversation rolling…keep your ears unclogged – listen attentively.”
- Help your spouse go as far as he or she can go. Don’t put extra weights on him or her. Help him feel light and fast in the race of life.
- Share your spiritual lives with each other. The pastor shares his spiritual journey from the stage. Do it at home as well.
- Make your spouse your project. Get to know her strengths and weaknesses, love languages, keep a prayer list of her needs. etc.
- Set meaningful boundaries. “people come and go, and even staff come and go, the only constants are God and the two of us; to lose us is to lose everything…”
This book is really helpful. Looking forward to sharing it with church planting friends.